I decided to write my brother a letter last week. While I sat down to write the letter, it dawned on me that there were some words he needed to hear. Chris reminded me that I might be the only person in the world that understands him because of experiencing the same childhood. First, I told him I was proud of him for working hard to stay out of trouble and keep a job. These are words that we both long to hear from our parents. Our desire to hear these words from them pushed us to act in two very different ways. Second, I told him that I admired him. That might sound strange intiailly but the last time that I saw him was at dinner at my parent's house. Before he left, he leaned down to give a hug to my father who was laying in the recliner. Dad didn't reciprocate, but I can't imagine how much courage and forgiveness had gone through Thomas's heart to be able to do that. I'm shamed to admit that I can only remember hugging my dad 2 times in my adult life. I’ve been scooping out a spoonful of forgiveness daily and the bucket doesn’t ever seem to be empty. As I grew up, I choose to look to my Father in heaven for approval and it has eased the pain of having a earthly father that does not know how to express it.
The last thing I shared with him the story of Joseph in Genesis as we have been hearing about on Sundays. I received a letter from Thomas yesterday that brought me to weeping. As he re-read the story in his bible, he said it particularly touched him because he felt he had done nothing wrong this time. He said he thought it was interesting because he started getting in trouble at the age of 17, the age that Joe was sold into slavery and Joe was 30 when he came on the other side of it. Thomas is 30 years old. He admitted that he has lived his life foolishly and selfishly and that he doesn’t want to live life on the edge the way he has been living it. The thing that made me sob most is that he wants to prove to mom and dad that he can be somebody in their eyes. The only words he wants to hear from dad is, “I love you and I’m proud of you.” He shared that he loves them even if its hard for them to show it the way that he needs it to be shown. Boy, what a lesson in humility, love and forgiveness. As I read his letter, it is from a different person than the brother I have known these last 10 years. I sense that God is working in his heart in a very different way.
The last thing I shared with him the story of Joseph in Genesis as we have been hearing about on Sundays. I received a letter from Thomas yesterday that brought me to weeping. As he re-read the story in his bible, he said it particularly touched him because he felt he had done nothing wrong this time. He said he thought it was interesting because he started getting in trouble at the age of 17, the age that Joe was sold into slavery and Joe was 30 when he came on the other side of it. Thomas is 30 years old. He admitted that he has lived his life foolishly and selfishly and that he doesn’t want to live life on the edge the way he has been living it. The thing that made me sob most is that he wants to prove to mom and dad that he can be somebody in their eyes. The only words he wants to hear from dad is, “I love you and I’m proud of you.” He shared that he loves them even if its hard for them to show it the way that he needs it to be shown. Boy, what a lesson in humility, love and forgiveness. As I read his letter, it is from a different person than the brother I have known these last 10 years. I sense that God is working in his heart in a very different way.
Comments